


You have flown too close to the sun.

by hemisphaeric



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24319333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hemisphaeric/pseuds/hemisphaeric
Summary: It's just a story, a simple story of two men who happen to be very good friends. It's the story of two lost souls.
Relationships: Berlin | Andrés de Fonollosa/Palermo | Martín Berrote
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	You have flown too close to the sun.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be way shorter but once I started writing I realised I couldn't stop. Since it became way _too long_ to just post in on tumblr, I'm going to leave this here.

Imagine you meet this man, he’s charming, very smart, he wants to spend time with you and travel the world. He keeps you under his wing, highly values your intelligence and asks you to explain him how the most complex things work. You spend your time talking, learning from him as much as he learns from you. Then one day, this friend comes to you with a weird light in his eyes and he’s so excited and oh. He looks so pretty. Your friend tells you he wants to steal diamonds with you. Imagine you end up falling oh so damn hard for this amazing, impossible man. Oh shit that can’t work out can it? You’re kept up at night by the thoughts of how you could possibly express your love. You start thinking abut a grand gesture, a perfect plan. You propose him to melt gold together; for him, you make the impossible, possible.  
After years, you end up living together in a monastery in Toscana, Italy, to work at the incredible plan you two have been crafting for years now.  
This friend of yours (friend, wow, such a simple term to refer to somebody that ignites such a big, warm feeling inside your chest) also happens to have a lot of women at his feet and how could he not? But damn it hurts when you watch him kiss and hug these women. Because deep down you know they will not be around much longer, you simply know. These women are not smart, they can’t offer your friend what you can, they are simply pretty.  
Yet you’ve been there, of course you have. You’ve been there to every single one of his weddings, five. Who the hell goes through five weddings?  
Years go by and you think you’re happy after all, in your lightest moments you feel like you could keep on living like this, a life devoted to pleasing this dear friend of yours. You keep humouring him, you build the most amazing plans with your brilliant mind, you live just for the moments you can make him smile and laugh. It almost feels like you’re holding your breath every single minute that runs between these moments, almost as if you’re able to let go and grasp for air only when this special friend of yours is close to you.  
In these moments you can avoid thinking about the pain you feel in your chest every time your friend leaves to visit his new fiancee, you can push it all aside as his smiles light up the whole room, you can keep on hoping. When he is away, you just keep working, harder, faster, you keep looking for solutions and ideas, you want to surprise him when he comes back. He will see how smart you are, how much you can do for the plan. For him.  
You keep working at your plan, your child, you want to impress your friend by writing him a poem. This is so much more than a heist, this is a declaration of love. You don’t know poetry, no, but you know how to work with numbers and variables, you know how to elaborate those in a perfectly harmonic balance, yet just one step away from falling into chaos.  
One day your friend, your dearest friend, kisses you. He completely turns your world upside down, he kisses you and you can’t believe it, you can’t control yourself nor can you process what is happening. His hands burn like fire on your face, his lips are so hungry. So hungry for you, you dare hope.  
Then he leaves. He goes away, his brother needs him and he leaves you and your plan to rot away. He doesn’t care anymore.  
He leaves and you’re empty, the presence of your friend forever imprinted on your lips, on your skin, in the tears you shed for days. _(or was it weeks? Months?)_  
You turn into an empty shell of a man, a useless nobody, you are unable to do what you did best, you aren’t fierce and smart anymore.  
Your special friend has taken your carefully written love poem and thrown it away, he stepped on your heart and everything you could have offered him, loyalty, friendship, love. It all goes to waste.  
Imagine hating yourself so much that you voluntarily work toward your own destruction just to feel something, you are not a human anymore, you have turned into a miserable monster who just keeps existing despite his own will. You don’t recognise yourself anymore, you used to be so lively, hyperactive even, now you can barely stand up from the couch, drunk and so pathetic. That is what your lovely friend would say of you if he saw you now. You hate yourself for not being strong enough to fight this, but what should you fight for when nobody wants you and you’re so disgusting you can’t stand your own company? A beaten dog you are, nothing more.  
Love, friendship, nothing matters now, to you those feelings don’t feel real. They don’t exist. The only thing that you can feel, powerful and raw is the burning hot pain that has occupied the place your heart was supposed to be in.  
You try to avoid people’s company as much as possible, the exact opposite of what you used to do. How much time has passed? You don’t know anymore, all you know is the constant of your miserable lonely life: pain. You don’t want to let anybody in, you can’t let anybody in. You end up ruining every single thing you get your hands on, other people don’t deserve to be touched by such a vile creature. 

When your dearest friend dies, you feel like he has betrayed you once again. How could he die like that? He had promised you, you would have seen each other again. He left you once, twice. He lied to you but you can’t stop loving him, you’re an Icarus, you’ve flown too close to the sun. And now all you can do is keep falling down. 

_El tiempo nos volverá a juntar nunca más._


End file.
